on the move
Oh, while I remember, just a note for anyone that might happen by here in the next few weeks....
I'm currently in the process of moving this domain to a new server - but nothing is set up on it yet, so if I disappear for a little while, I'll be back ASAP.
Wow, this feels odd. Like kind of... unfamiliar and strange. I don't even know if I remember how to do this. At least the way I used to do it.
I became uncomfortable posting for the longest time. I had regrets about things I said that hurt someone. I had questions about why I was doing this, if it was serving the purpose it was orginally supposed to serve or if it had merely become another form of exhibitionism. And lord knows I've done enough of that in the past.
I guess I started re-evaluating and then somewhere in the rush, I lost some things. One of them being my journalling. Another being my writing.
My job has been hectic. I applied for my bosses job but didn't get it. I am still here but have made it clear I will not stay on what they are paying me and am biding my time until the right opportunity comes up. Morale has rock bottomed here in the past few months, I am not the only one that's looking to be on the move. Management is tightening belts and there have been voluntary severences. It's the old story of slashing staff numbers and increasing the work load. Their problem is, if they lose me, no-one else knows what I know. So they'll be screwed.
But that's their problem, not mine.
I actually know a lot and am very good at what I do, a fact that is not lost on people both inside and outside the College. So much so that I was asked by the consultant for the records system we use to submit my CV. This is cool but firstly there are no jobs currently going, although they are looking into creating more positions and secondly, commuting from Leeds to York is bad enough, but Leeds to Hull....? I don't know. I'm waiting to see if they come up with anything decent to offer me and in the meantime I am keeping my eye on academic admin jobs in Leeds.
Oh, did I ever mention I got an A for my creative writing module? That kind of got lost in the rush too - wasn't nearly as good as it could have been but I did accomplish the amazing feat of completing a short story (I'm good at starting stuff but not at actually finishing it...).
Anyway... that's where I am. I'm just.... I'm tired. I'm tired of the travelling and the never having any money and the not being able to get back home. I'm homesick and I want to see my Mum and my brother and my Grandad. But until I get a new/better paying job, I'm stymied. And while I'm working so hard and travelling two hours a day, the energy to fill out applications is a little hard to come by.
Okay... back to work I guess....
Every so often I think about stopping by here and making an entry. And then real life gets in the way. Work gets in the way. Long days get in the way. Exhaustion gets in the way.
Life isn't easy at teh best of times, but it's good. I'm happy and fulfilled. I don't think I can ask for too much more.
Some more time would be good though....